by: Mike Salvatore…a little birdie told me…

Jamie “Charlie” Knight is dating upper warder left. That’s right, all of them. He’s even dating the ones who are currently in relationships. He’s a sly one, that Charlie…

Rachel Neumeister has peed in 6 different showers around EBC. Her goal is to do it in all of them before she graduates. [Editor’s Note: Be careful when asking to be gossiped about. You might get what you ask for.]

I heard that if you don’t staple or paperclip your papers for first year classes, you get an “A” because the profs take pity upon you. Try it!

Matt Cardases can’t fall asleep without his special parsnip. What makes this parsnip special? You’ll have to ask him.

Construction of the Tim Grace Place has already begun…underground. The architect decided that the EBC faculty’s subterranean super-fortress would be the best place to begin constructing the new building. Didn’t see a fortress in the building plans? I didn’t either. We’re not supposed to know.

Ben Ahrens has so many bumper stickers on his car because he’s trying to cover up the evidence from the time he backed into a herd of calves and piglets. He never forgave himself, so he pays his penance by pretending to be a vegetarian.